I wish I could go to bed with him, actually.

I feel like I should update more and get my feelings down somewhere. And so I can remember everything that happened. So, everyday for.. let's see, we might as well try a year, I'll post and talk about my day. No matter how trivial or whatnot.

I'll start from really early this morning. I sent X a couple of pictures that were sorta revealing, but not to a great extent, just to tease him. Gosh, he makes me so happy.

I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. I think partially because I'd rather stay up and text X than I would actually trying to sleep, hehe. But it's making work horrible. I skipped 3 days last week. The good news is that Thursday is my last day. I'm going to Florida this Friday. I guess it'll be a nice.. break.. I don't really wanna go but it's better than being at home I suppose.

X (usually) always calls me on break and it's really nice to talk to him, even if it's about nothing. Just to know that he's around is enough, for now. He said he hopes by October we can meet.. I just hope it's not too long. I'm not sure how long I can go without him. Hopefully everything works out and we can stay together always, eventually of course. (:

One morning he called me, mostly asleep, to tell me good morning. So sweet, and he sounded so cute, it made me giggle. Sigh, I really wish he was here right now. Or, at least that he was going to come home to me after work.

But right now, nothing else is going on. I'm going to try to stay awake and talk to him after he gets out of work but I'm not sure I can make it that long. Sigh. I'm so tired. I wish I could just sleep for awhile.

I love him.

Just for the record, I'm really happy right now.

You do care, don't you?

This process is repeating already. I try to talk to you, you basically ignore me, I try to brush it off. You get mad somehow. I end up crying a lot. I don't understand. I thought it was different this time...

Can you please just respond to me?
Everytime you don't I feel like it's your way of telling me that you don't care.

But I don't want you to get mad at me.

I understand that meeting is the only thing that's going to confirm this relationship and make me happy, and I hope make you happy too.. It's just that I feel really lonely right now.

I would also like you to promise me a few things..