But it's not like it changes anything. I miss you.

I think it's oh so silly to miss someone I've never met.

Holidays are just great.

I hate holidays. I hate people.
If I act like you're annoying me, it doesn't mean I'm tired.
When I tell you I'm not tired, that means I'm not tired.
If I'm not tired, you should probably stop saying I'm tired.

Seriously, I just want to stab everyone in the face.

I want it to stop.

Edit: I hate how I sound.
So, this is actually what I want to say:

Hi. I'm Evelette. My day was fine. Then I started thinking. See you later.

:)

I know I'm hard to deal with sometimes. And we both know you can be an ass sometimes. But I think if we just stay together and deal with things as they come, we'll be okay. And we can be happy. And yeah I'm gonna go emo sometimes, but..

You're the only one that's going to give me long-term happiness. And I want to return the favor. I'm just asking you to not give up on me, even if I am being difficult. 'Cause right now, I'm happy. And I really hope and think you are too. Even if we are thousands of miles apart.

Make it stop.

No, I don't want to go hang out with you.
No, I don't want to go anywhere.
No, I don't want to do anything.
No, I don't want to talk to you.

I really just want everyone to drop off the face of the earth right now. How am I expected to go to school and try to act normal and try not to be obsessive over him when all I want to do is lie in bed and cry? How am I supposed to not talk to him when he's the only one I want to talk to? How am I supposed to not be hurt when he barely talks to me?

What the fuck am I supposed to do to stop feeling so miserable?
I just want him to be here. I just want a fucking hug. I just want someone to fucking care about me without expecting anything in return. I don't want them to want things from me. To want me to act a certain way or to not want me to be sad. I just wanna feel how I feel and not have to change and I wanna be sad and lonely and I want him and I wanna cry. I want a hug. I want him to make me happy instead of me trying to get him to make me happy.